Mrs. Donaghy

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Tina's characters
Spoilers: "Mrs. Donaghy."
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Summary: "Yes to all." 
Request made by: Rachel!!!!!! It turned out to be too shippy, and I know you don't like them as a couple, but that's the whole point of fanfic! I don't know if this worked or not, but I tried... :)

"...and when I'm being too handsome." 
"Or when you have eye boogers."
Jack got the "eye booger" out of his eye.
“Does the employee spend an inordinate amount of time in the employer’s office compared to other employees?"
Jack nodded.
"Are all workday conversations business-related, or do personal issues often dominate discussion? Including, but not limited to: mothers, diarrhea, having babies, problems in the bedroom, neckties, food issues, foot disorders, having it all?"
"Okay...in the past we have advised each other," Jack said.
"For instance, I once wore tan slacks with a tan turtleneck. I thought it looked nice, but Jack rightly pointed out that it made me look like a giant condom."
"Have you spent time with each other’s families? Have you attended special events together, such as class reunions, birthday or holiday celebrations, weddings, or extended car trips?"
That's when they both realized something.
"Are you each other’s emergency contacts? Do you ever drink together at work, perhaps while summarizing what you’ve learned over the day or week? Have you shared intimate details of your fears, hopes, and dreams, both personal and professional? Is this the longest and perhaps most meaningful relationship in your life?"
Jack and Liz nodded, thinking back at all those memories. 
"Do you often find yourselves thinking the same thing and then saying it at the exact same time?”
"I'm sorry," they both said.
"Elizabeth, forget about the divorce papers."
"What do you mean?"
"Come live with me. Be my wife. Forget all those things I said earlier."
"Are you still planning to do Angie's show?"
"She's now on Bravo. It won't affect TGS."
Liz smiled. Her husband was finally being someone she could like. 
Jack hugged her.
"Okay. Word association. Foreplay--"
"We're done, Weinersalv."
Jack and Liz made their way to the door.
"Jack, your fly's open."
They went to the stage when TGS was in the middle of rehearsing something. The bat mitzvahs would stop, as Jack said.
"Alright, everybody listen!" Liz yelled.
Everyone got silent.
"As you may have heard, Jack and I are married. We told you it was an accident. Well, it was. But we just got out of a conference with Wienerslav. And we found the truth."
"So, there will be a few changes around here," Jack continued.
"The budget cuts were a mistake. Jenna, you can have your dressing room back. From now on, you will be addressing Liz here as 'Mrs. Donaghy.' Even you, Jonathan."
"Yes, sir," he said.
"There will be no divorce. And the healthcare plans will be settled. And one more thing. Take down the 'Liz Lemon' name tag on her office door. Replace it...with Elizabeth Donaghy."
"I might die today, but I know I just won a billion dollars, so kill me now! Congrats Jackie D!"
The crew groaned and they paid up.
Later in the day when everything was settled, when Liz was typing up the new sketch, her eye caught on something. Her ring. Jack had given it to her shortly after the big announcement. Her phone started ringing. It was Jack.
"Hey, Jack!"
"Liz, just the person I need to talk to."
"What does my husband need today?"
"I want my wife to come up to my office. I have a surprise for her."
"How do you make that sound so dirty?"
"I guess it's my voice."
"Well, I can tell you something, though. You're lucky. After we had that appointment earlier, I went back to my apartment, took all my stuff, went to our house, and put my stuff there."
"Might I ask...what did you do with Avery's clothes?"
"Well, some of them were tacky, so I sold them. Got a few thousand dollars, but I kept some of them because I liked it. I hope you're not mad."
"No, no. Not at all. What you did was right."
"I'll see you in five, I guess."
Liz ran out the door, squealing in excitement.
"What now?" Frank asked.
"Well, my husband is calling me over to his office...for a surprise."
"Oh, they're doing it!!!" someone yelled."
"Oh, stop being such immature monkeys. We're married. Plus, it's none of your damn business."
The writers' groaned.
"But, since I'm probably gonna be gone the whole night, here's $500 dollars. Have a party."
The writers grabbed the money and left the building. Jenna caught up to Liz before the elevators closed.
"Jenna?"
"Liz, I have to tell you something."
"What, Jenna? My husband needs me right now."
"Are you sure you're gonna do this?"
"Do what?"
"It!"
"How do you even know--"
"I just know, Liz. Are you gonna do it...no strings attached?"
"I don't know. It's up to him if he wants to use protection or not. I have the pill in his office right now, just in case."
"Okay, Liz. Whatever you say."
Liz went up to Jack's office where he saw her with a tuxedo on. It was barely six.
"What's up? Why are you wearing a tux?"
"Meet me at the rooftop at 8. I'll see you later, Lemon."
He kissed her and dashed for the elevator before Liz could even reply. 
She sat on one of the chairs and found herself sitting on a box.
She opened the box and inside she saw...her ham napkin, but without any food stains.
"This is your day, Lemon."
She put on the dress and called Jenna.
"So, how was it?"
"Jenna, we didn't do it."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm getting married."
"I thought you already were."
"I am, but I never got to experience my own wedding. Look, it's probably just gonna be a casual wedding, so you can go if you want."
The clock struck 8. Liz ran to the elevator. She went to the rooftop, and she saw a huge crowd. CEO's of companies, Colleen, some of her friends, and famous people she couldn't even name. And the person who wed them: Tracy.
"Tracy, you're not authorized."
"Yes, I am, Liz Lemon. For your information, I studied being a ship captain for a day and ship captains are allowed to wed people."
"Whatever...let's just get this over with."
Tracy wed Jack and Liz and it was perfect. Even though Tracy took off his shirt at the end, she didn't have to care. It was her day.

END