I Can't Do This

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine...
Spoilers: None
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Summary: Liz has second thoughts on whether she should marry Jack or not.

Today was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. She was supposed to be really excited and ready to go. But she wasn't.
Instead, she looked at herself in the mirror all dressed up for her own wedding. She was beautiful. She has all this, but she feels like she doesn't deserve it. Twenty minutes before the wedding and she was freaking out.
"Where's Liz?" Jenna whispered in Jack's ear.
Jack shrugged.
"I'm gonna go check up on her," he said.
"Wait! It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding!" Jenna said.
"Don't believe in superstitions."
**
"I can't do this," she told herself. She went to the refrigerator and got some ham. It's been a while since she stress-ate. Usually, whenever she was stressed out, she just had sex with Jack. She was becoming into one of those women she didn't want to become. She wanted to be her old self again, full of careless mistakes. Jack turned her into some perfect person, but she wasn't sure she wanted that.
She loved Jack more than anyone, that she knew. She knew he loved her back just as much, possibly even more. But is it worth it? Is this just a little fling that could possibly end in a year or so? Jack told her he wanted to marry her, wanted to have kids with her and that made her cry. She wanted to marry him, she did. But she wasn't sure if this was the time.
Someone knocked on the door.
"Lemon?"
"Jack? Is that you?"
"Yeah. Can you open the door? I need to talk to you."
Liz opened the door and Jack was stunned.
"You look beautiful," he said.
Liz started to cry and sat down.
"What's wrong? Your makeup's starting to ruin."
"I don't know if I can do this, Jack."
"Do what?"
Liz cried even harder, but Jack stayed with her and put his hand over her shoulder.
"I can't do this. I can't get married to you because I don't deserve you."
Jack sighed.
"Liz, look at me. You are an amazing woman. You told me you loved me last night and that you've never been more sure of anything."
"That's true," she said.
"I'm the one that doesn't deserve you. I've been in more failed relationships than you. We could've avoided that by looking at each other's eyes and seeing what was between us. We didn't and we started out a little late, but that's okay."
Liz sniffled.
"We don't have to get married today," Jack told her.
"What? Why? You've always wanted a big wedding that worked, Jack. We've been married once before except that wedding was a total fake."
Jack chuckled.
"So, you wanna get married or not?" he asked her.
"Well, do you love me?"
"Of course I do. More than anyone or anything."
"More than your job?"
"Liz, I only loved my job because I got to see you every day. We can have it all. The big office and happiness. Trust me. We can make this work."
Liz smiled.
"Then, let's get married."
"Wait, you never told me if you loved me!" Jack said.
Liz kissed him.
"You know it," she said.
She fixed her makeup and went to the lobby.
Jack went first and ran to the front.
"How is she?" Jenna asked.
"Better than ever. She just needed a little pep talk."
"Oh, a pep talk. I getcha," Jenna said with a wink.
Jack rolled his eyes.
The music started playing and Liz's father gave her away.
She was smiling at Jack and he was smiling back at her.
She made her decision. She wanted to marry Jack and that's all she wanted.
**
"Lemon? Wake up!" Jack yelled.
"Huh? Wha--"
Liz woke up in Jack's office.
"I was asking if you could pick up Caroline from ballet later."
"Who's Caroline?" she asked him.
"The dancer for your show."
"Are we married?" she asked abruptly, not paying attention to what Jack had just asked of her.
"We were once married, yes. That little mix-up when I thought I married Avery."
Oh. It was just a dream.
"Oh, okay. I can't pick up Caroline. There's this sketch that I really need to finish by tonight, though."
"Lemon, did you forget about our plans tonight?"
Jack laughed.
"Wh...what plans?"
"Our date for tonight. We were going to Plunder since it's our only free time of the week because you've been kind enough to take care of Liddy all week."
"Oh, right. Our date. Duh, I knew that. That's why I was gonna finish my sketch really early."
Jack smiled.
"Great. Pick you up at seven."
Well, they might not be married. But they'll get there some day.

END.