Party On

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Spoilers: "Greenzo," "I Heart Connecticut"
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Summary: Pretending decides to turn into reality.
A/N: I've gone crazy, so here's a fic to show you how crazy I've gone. Honestly, there's really no point in this story. I'm just writing it because I'm bored. Hopefully, inspiration will rise up tomorrow! Oh, before I forget, comments are appreciated. Geiss is still alive in my mind.


"Miss Lemon, I can't do the party at my house."
"Wh-Wh-Wh-what?" Jack said.
"Remember my last party?"
Flashbacks of Kenneth's last party occurred to them.
"Kiss me, Grizz. Just kiss me!" Jack said, mocking Liz.
Liz slapped him on the arm.
"I was drunk! At least I wasn't the one that got punched by a girl," Liz said, smirking.
"That was an exception, Lemon. Girls from Holland are strong."
"Mister Donaghy, Miss Lemon, please stop fighting," Kenneth pleaded.
"Oh, we're not fighting, Kenneth. This is just our way of talking to each other," Jack explained.
"They talk to each other a lot more sweetly when I'm not around," Kenneth thought.
"Hang on a second, Ken. Have you invited people yet?" Liz asked.
"Well, no. I just like seeing you guys having fun."
Liz grinned, then turned to Jack.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" they both said at the same time.
"Ooh! Why don't y'all say your ideas together on the count of three! One...two...three!"
"We'll host the party together and it'll be at your house!" Jack and Liz both said.
"Which house?" Liz asked.
"We can use mine. No big deal."
Liz hugged Jack.
"So, the party's...for real?" she asked.
Jack nodded.
"I'll make the invites," he said.
"And I'll--"
"Go back to work," they both said.
Kenneth nodded and left.
"Come on! Let's brainstorm in your office!" Jack said.
"It begins with the words!" Liz exclaimed.
"I'll bring the wine," Jack said, running to the elevator.
*
"Want a drink?" Jack said, greeting her at her door, wine glasses in one hand and two wine bottles in the other.
She bit her lip and smiled.
"Come right in."
Jenna looked at Liz with her eyebrows raised.
Liz rolled her eyes and closed the door.
"Whoa. Did you guys see that?" Jenna asked.
"See what?" Frank said.
"Jack and Liz. Jack came in here with wine glasses. He asked Liz if he wanted a drink and Liz bit her lip and said "Come right in." Uh, hello! A girl only bites her lip when she's horny!"
All the writers had their eyebrows raised, except the new kid.
"Aren't they married?" the new kid asked.
Everyone burst out laughing.
"Is anyone here a good listener?" Jenna asked.
No one raised their hands. Jenna rolled her eyes.
"Fine. I'll do it."
Jenna grabbed a cup from the kitchenette, sat on a chair, and rolled her way to Liz's door.
She heard a moan.
"God, Jack. We can't do this. What if someone sees us?"
Jack groaned.
"This is so good, Lemon. We can't stop now. Let them see us for all I care."
"But this is--" Liz gasped. "That's the best idea ever. Let's try it."
Jenna's eyes widened and she went back to tell the crew.
"Yup. They're definitely doing it."
"Jack!" Liz yelled, loud enough for the writers (and Jenna) to hear.
"What?" Jack said.
"Weren't those the best cakes ever? I mean, you groaned...you never groan about food."
"That is true."
"I've got the perfect theme for the party," she said, smiling.
Jack smiled.
"Talk to me, babe," he said.
Liz snorted.
"Let's make it...executive themed! Don't you love that? I mean, everyone's gonna dress up all nice and some girls might even dress like a naughty assistant. Ever heard of that?"
Jack shook his head.
"You know, a white button up shirt with one too many buttons popped open and a really short pencil skirt?"
"Make that the party theme!" Jack said.
Liz laughed.
"Let's just make it a costume party," Jack suggested.
"Yeah, that'll be good. You'll invite guests, right?"
Jack nodded.
"Is there more wine?" Liz asked.
Jack shook his head.
"We ran out...like two hours ago."
"What time is it anyway?"
Jack checked his clock.
"It's...seven."
"You're saying we've been in here for four hours?! Whack?!"
"Time flies, Lemon. Time flies."
"You gotta go before the writers get suspicious. You know how pervy they are. Come on, get your clothes...and fix your hair!"
Liz laughed.
Jack opened the door.
"So, when will we...do this again?" he asked her.
"You can come over tonight. You have a key, right?"
Jack nodded.
"Yeah, make sure to bring the wine."
"Oh, I will."
They shared a laugh.
"Your hair's messed up," Jack said.
Liz tried fixing it.
"Let me," he told her.
Liz smiled, then fixed his hair.
"You look like a mess," Liz told him.
She kept messing with his hair.
"Your hair feels good, you know that?"
Jack nodded.
"Oh, your tie," she told him.
She tied his tie for him.
"Anything else?" Jack joked.
"Your jacket."
Liz got his jacket from her office and gave it to him.
"There. Perfect!"
"Oh, your shirt's messed up," Jack told her.
Liz looked down. Jack lifted up her chin.
"Gotcha," he said, grinning.
"Tonight, right?"
Liz nodded.
*
"What was that about?" Jenna asked Liz as soon as Jack left.
"What are you talking about?"
"Uh, you and Jack."
"It's a secret, Jenna. I can't tell you."
"Are you having sex with Jack?!"
"What?"
Just then, Liz's phone started ringing.
"Who is it?" Jenna asked her.
"Shut up! Hello? Oh, haha. No, not you Jack. Jenna was just being stupid. Yeah, like that!" Liz laughed. "Dress up? What do you mean? Dinner? I thought you were gonna--Oh, I get it. But you're still coming over, right? Yeah, great. You have a dress for me? Isn't that a little too much for just--okay. It's gonna be fancy? Oh, okay. Yeah, we'll talk more. M'kay. Haha, you too!"
Jenna still thought the same thing.
"Get. Out," Liz told her.
Wasn't a fancy dinner too much for party planning? Oh, well.
Liz met Jack at the dressing room.
"Where's my dress? Where's my dress?" Liz asked excitedly.
"Ta-da!"
Jack showed her the dress. It was like the one she wore when she gave Floyd her key except it was tighter (is that even possible?), it was lower (on the front and back), and it was silver (no sparkles).
"Lemon, I have something to tell you."
Liz looked unsure.
"Um...okay. Shoot."
"This is an executive dinner we're going to. You are going to be introduced as my wife. your hair is to be maintained straight and have the same length. You are to wear a lot of make-up. Don't overdo it, though."
Liz nodded.
"Wait, you aren't even going to object in any way?" Jack asked, looking confused and shocked.
Liz shook her head.
"It'll be cool. I'll be in the paper tomorrow morning so I'll have something to read about. And yes, you may have your stupid violations and what-not. You promise never to go below the waist, but your hand says differently."
Jack laughed.
"Why are you being so nice today?" he asked her.
"I dunno. I guess I'm just excited for the party," she told him.
She went to Jack's office to try on the dress, but the zipper wouldn't zip up. She called Jack to help her.
"Ooh, what is this?" Jack asked, pointing out something she was wearing.
"Hey! Hands off back, please. That feels weird. And yeah, I bought bras that hooked to the front. I figured I needed a new style. And plus, they're easier to take off and I don't know why I'm telling this to you." Liz explained. "Now zip this dress on!"
"Yes, ma'am," Jack said.
Liz had her back towards Jack and her hands along his neck.
Jack was tugging on the dress to see if there was an easier way to zip it.
"It's not zipping, damn it," Jack told her.
Liz sighed.
Just then, Jenna stormed in his office.
"Hey, Jack. Do you have any of those--whoa. Oh, god. Well, this is hot."
"Excuse me?" Jack asked.
"Um. That's a pretty dress, Liz."
"Oh, thank you. He picked it out for me," Liz told Jenna.
"I'm sure he did," she muttered.
*
"Wow! This dinner sure is fancy, Jack."
"Lemon, I told you not to wear glasses. They make you look like Sarah Palin."
Liz laughed.
"Isn't that your ultimate fantasy, Jack?" Liz joked.
"Please just take your glasses off."
Liz notice that he wasn't kidding, so she took off her glasses and put it in her purse.
"I can't see anything," Liz informed him.
"Good god. Come on, let's go to the family restroom to put your contacts on."
Jack walked to the restroom with Liz behind him. She out on her contacts and went back outside.
"Boy, that sure clears things up," she told herself.
"Jackie Boy!"
Oh, no. Crap, it was Don Geiss.
"Mr. Geiss! How are you, sir?" Jack greeted him.
"I'm doing great! Now, who's the lady?"
"Do you remember Elizabeth Lemon?" he asked him.
"Button Classic girl? Of course! She saved us lots of money. You need to tell her to stop sending me those flowers, Jack! The wife thinks I have a mistress! Why do you ask?"
Jack laughed.
"Well, Liz apologizes for that. And I asked because I wanted your opinion...on my wife."
Don spit out his drink and his eyebrows were raised.
"Elizabeth Donaghy?! Wow, wow. Jack, I believe you've chosen the right woman."
"I tell him that every day, sir," Liz said.
They all shared a laugh.
"You guys are really married?"
Banks. Why does he have to be in this event?
"Yes, we are, Devon. Why do you care?" Liz told him.
"I've never seen you two kiss."
"Oh, yeah? Well, watch this then."
Liz grabbed the lapels of Jack's jacket and kissed him. It was a long kiss, actually. It was such a long kiss that people began to wonder how they could hold their breaths for so long.
"Suck on that, Devon!" Liz told him.
Jack didn't move. He was still in mid-shock because Liz had kissed him.
"I still don't believe you," Devon said.
"Well, we don't need your opinion! You weren't invited to our wedding that day cuz you were busy with Cashmere and the triplets."
Devon gasped.
"How do you know about Cashmere?" he asked her.
"MY HUSBAND told me."
"Wait, so...the baby he was talking about, that's your daughter?"
"Der. Liddy Colleen Elizabeth Lemon-Donaghy."
"Well, who's Avery Jessup-Donaghy?" Devon challenged.
Uh-oh.
"Lemon and I got married after Avery was captured. But, Liz here already had Liddy."
Devon rolled his eyes and walked away.
"That was amazing. I--I mean, the way you stood up to Devon. That was amazing."
The rest of the night seemed pretty calm. Jack would occasionally kiss her, but awkwardly, she was okay with that. Friends kiss, right? Yeah, French women do! But those are cheek kisses...and they're women. This is a guy and a girl we're taking about.
Oh, crapballs.
Does Liz like Jack in a more intimate way?
*
Liz went home with Jack that day and they discussed more topics about the party.
"Just a question, when will it be?" Liz asked him.
"We can have it this Saturday, if you want."
"Yeah, that'd be great."
"So, we got the theme, the guests, the invitations. We got it all planned out."
Liz nodded and there was silence for a long time.
"Well, I suppose I should go," Jack said.
"Yeah. Uh, here's the ring and the necklace. I'll give the dress back to you tomorrow morning."
Jack took the jewelry and went outside Liz's apartment.
"Thank you for not embarrassing me tonight, Lemon."
Liz put her hands on his shoulders and gave him a light kiss. She grinned.
"Anytime, Jack. I'll come over tomorrow after work or whenever to see what we can decorate."
Jack nodded and smiled.
"Goodnight, Lemon."
Jack made his way outside and to his limo.
Liz Lemon kissed him, and for once, Jack didn't find that repulsive at all. He smiled at that thought.
He felt something when she kissed him. Even though it was only for a matter of seconds, it was like his stomach flipped all the way up to his heart. His heart was beating so fast, but he knew this wasn't a heart attack.
Liz was attacking his heart and he was enjoying every single minute of it.
*
The next morning, Jack picked her up to go to work and they had their morning coffee in his office.
"Wow. I am tired from last night. That was fun, right?"
Jack smiled.
"Very fun indeed, Lemon."
Liz yawned.
"I guess I'm gonna go catch some sleep in my office. I'll see you later, Jack."
Jack rolled his eyes.
"I don't want you to fall asleep in the middle of the twelfth floor. Come on. I'll go with you."
Jack walked her to her office and stopped at her door.
"Thanks, Jack," she told him before she stood up on her tippy-toes and leaned in to give him a kiss.
"Is this a regular thing we're doing?" he asked her.
"I don't know. Do you like it?" she asked, grinning.
"Well, I'm not disturbed by it, so that must mean I like it."
"We'll call it Friendship Kisses. You know, like butterfly kisses, but we're not butterflies."
Jack chuckled.
"Get some rest," he said before leaving.
Liz did get some rest and in her mind, she dreamt of a perfect family.
Jack was working all night until Liz came in.
"You wanna check what we can decorate in your house?" Liz asked.
"Where are you going to find a store that's open twenty-four hours?"
"Wal-Mart!"
Jack shook his head.
"It's 2:30 in the morning. I am not going to Wal-Mart."
Liz gave him a mean look.
"Then I'm gonna go to your apartment and sleep in your bed because you refused."
"Go ahead, Lemon. I'm gonna fall asleep in here anyway."
*
Yay, invitation day! It was Wednesday and Jack and Liz were sending invites to everybody.
"PARTY AT JACK'S HOUSE TOMORROW! JUST WEAR SOMETHING YOU'D NORMALLY WEAR IF YOU WERE IN A CLUB!" Liz yelled.
Jack tapped on her shoulder and Liz turned around. He bought her a sandwich for lunch.
She smiled and gave him a kiss.
"The party's tomorrow! Do you have your costume?"
"I don't need a costume, Lemon. I'm already an executive, so there's no need for me to dress up. How about you?"
Liz nodded and winked.
She made her way out of his office until Jack stopped him.
"Yeah?"
He kissed her.
"See ya, Jack."
Liz went back to her office and saw Jenna.
"Hey, friend," Liz said.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Jenna asked.
"Tell you what?"
"That you and Jack are dating?"
"What? No, Jenna. Jack and I aren't dating."
"Oh, yeah? Then explain the kisses and the hugging."
"Friends...do that."
Jenna rolled her eyes.
"God, Liz! Even if you guys weren't dating, you sure are acting like it! His hand always on your back, the kisses, the hugs, the going-over-to-your-house-at-the-middle-of-the-night-because-I-have-a-key thing! You're sending signals, but none of you want to admit it because you're afraid the other doesn't feel the same!"
Liz chuckled nervously.
"Jenna, you're just kidding. Jack and I aren't dating and we don't like each other like that."
"Whatever you say, Liz."
Liz has got to tell someone about this.
*
Oh boy. Here we go. Liz became the first "guest/hostess" to show up. Well, not really because Jack was there, but he was a HOST.
"Good evening, Lemon. May I take your coat?" he asked her.
Liz shook her head violently.
"My costume! It's gonna be revealed at the party. Do we have everything?"
Jack nodded.
"This place looks hot, Jack. The mini-bar, the DJ...this is gonna be the best party ever."
They kept walking around the apartment until Liz's stomach rumbled.
"My, my Lemon. Those are some stilettos you got there."
"I know, right? It's six inches tall, Jack. Who wears heels like this?"
Just then, the doorbell rang.
"DJ, hit it!"
The DJ started playing techno dance music and there were strobe lights everywhere. Liz took off her coat and answered the door.
"Hey guys! Come on in! The party's just getting started."
Jenna chuckled.
"We can see that," she said.
They all came in at once. Jenna, Cerie, Cerie's three cousins from Poland, Toofer, Frank, some young executives-to-be, and those lady executives Jack always seemed to like.
"That's, uh, quite a dress there, Lemon."
Liz smirked.
"Ever wonder why I brung up the idea?"
She walked away and went to the bar.
"Liz, this party is so legit! I can't believe Ari didn't wanna go." Cerie said.
"Oh, thank you, Cerie. I didn't know you would even come to a party hosted by a forty-year-old woman and a fifty-two-year old man."
Cerie scoffed.
"Please, Liz! You guys are like, my work mom and dad...who's rich, too. You guys really know how to throw a party," she said, before leaving the mini-bar.
Someone kicked open the door.
"ALRIGHT! TRACY JORDAN IN THE HOUSE! THE STRIPPERS ARE HERE, SO LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!"
Everyone cheered.
Oh, boy. This party was going to be crazy.
*
"I had you all come up here because I would like to discuss the matters of what happened at the party last night," Jack said.
Everyone who was invited to the party was in Jack's office that next morning.
Jack's hair was a mess, Jenna's make-up was screwed up and Liz's stiletto heels broke.
"You look like a hooker," Jenna whispered to her.
"Shut up," Liz said and gave her a nasty look.
"Lemon?" Jack signaled for her to go over there.
"Alright. Jenna, you can't cry and punch all the young executives who didn't want to have sex with you. Tracy, bringing those strippers was wrong because they took all the shrimp. I don't even know what they did with that AND I'm not planning to know. Lutz and Sue, you guys can't make out on the mini-bar table. It's just disturbing. Cerie, please tell your cousins from Poland not to punch Jack."
Everyone nodded.
"And Jonathan, don't ask for something that'll get you super drunk at the mini-bar because I've never seen Kenneth cry before. Don't kiss straight guys who love Jesus, alright?"
Jonathan tried to explain.
"Miss Lemon, I was drunk and--"
Jack ordered him to stop talking.
"What about you guys?" Frank asked, pointing to Jack and Liz.
"What about us?" they both asked in unison.
"You guys were having at it the last half of the party. Don't you guys ever close the door?"
Liz chuckled nervously.
"We were both drunk last night....and, um--"
"So? Everyone was just as drunk! No one had real, actual sex," Toofer explained.
"Yeah, that's because no one wants to have sex with a Harvard guy," Liz mocked.
"Just forget this ever happened, alright? We had some fun, now it's time to get back to work. Understand?"
Everyone nodded and went back to work.
After everyone left, Jack and Liz were there. All alone in silence.
"That was the best party ever!" Jack said with a huge grin on his face.
"I know, right?!"

END (of my useless, pointless fic...tell me whatcha think!)

I Can't Do This

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine...
Spoilers: None
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Summary: Liz has second thoughts on whether she should marry Jack or not.

Today was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. She was supposed to be really excited and ready to go. But she wasn't.
Instead, she looked at herself in the mirror all dressed up for her own wedding. She was beautiful. She has all this, but she feels like she doesn't deserve it. Twenty minutes before the wedding and she was freaking out.
"Where's Liz?" Jenna whispered in Jack's ear.
Jack shrugged.
"I'm gonna go check up on her," he said.
"Wait! It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding!" Jenna said.
"Don't believe in superstitions."
**
"I can't do this," she told herself. She went to the refrigerator and got some ham. It's been a while since she stress-ate. Usually, whenever she was stressed out, she just had sex with Jack. She was becoming into one of those women she didn't want to become. She wanted to be her old self again, full of careless mistakes. Jack turned her into some perfect person, but she wasn't sure she wanted that.
She loved Jack more than anyone, that she knew. She knew he loved her back just as much, possibly even more. But is it worth it? Is this just a little fling that could possibly end in a year or so? Jack told her he wanted to marry her, wanted to have kids with her and that made her cry. She wanted to marry him, she did. But she wasn't sure if this was the time.
Someone knocked on the door.
"Lemon?"
"Jack? Is that you?"
"Yeah. Can you open the door? I need to talk to you."
Liz opened the door and Jack was stunned.
"You look beautiful," he said.
Liz started to cry and sat down.
"What's wrong? Your makeup's starting to ruin."
"I don't know if I can do this, Jack."
"Do what?"
Liz cried even harder, but Jack stayed with her and put his hand over her shoulder.
"I can't do this. I can't get married to you because I don't deserve you."
Jack sighed.
"Liz, look at me. You are an amazing woman. You told me you loved me last night and that you've never been more sure of anything."
"That's true," she said.
"I'm the one that doesn't deserve you. I've been in more failed relationships than you. We could've avoided that by looking at each other's eyes and seeing what was between us. We didn't and we started out a little late, but that's okay."
Liz sniffled.
"We don't have to get married today," Jack told her.
"What? Why? You've always wanted a big wedding that worked, Jack. We've been married once before except that wedding was a total fake."
Jack chuckled.
"So, you wanna get married or not?" he asked her.
"Well, do you love me?"
"Of course I do. More than anyone or anything."
"More than your job?"
"Liz, I only loved my job because I got to see you every day. We can have it all. The big office and happiness. Trust me. We can make this work."
Liz smiled.
"Then, let's get married."
"Wait, you never told me if you loved me!" Jack said.
Liz kissed him.
"You know it," she said.
She fixed her makeup and went to the lobby.
Jack went first and ran to the front.
"How is she?" Jenna asked.
"Better than ever. She just needed a little pep talk."
"Oh, a pep talk. I getcha," Jenna said with a wink.
Jack rolled his eyes.
The music started playing and Liz's father gave her away.
She was smiling at Jack and he was smiling back at her.
She made her decision. She wanted to marry Jack and that's all she wanted.
**
"Lemon? Wake up!" Jack yelled.
"Huh? Wha--"
Liz woke up in Jack's office.
"I was asking if you could pick up Caroline from ballet later."
"Who's Caroline?" she asked him.
"The dancer for your show."
"Are we married?" she asked abruptly, not paying attention to what Jack had just asked of her.
"We were once married, yes. That little mix-up when I thought I married Avery."
Oh. It was just a dream.
"Oh, okay. I can't pick up Caroline. There's this sketch that I really need to finish by tonight, though."
"Lemon, did you forget about our plans tonight?"
Jack laughed.
"Wh...what plans?"
"Our date for tonight. We were going to Plunder since it's our only free time of the week because you've been kind enough to take care of Liddy all week."
"Oh, right. Our date. Duh, I knew that. That's why I was gonna finish my sketch really early."
Jack smiled.
"Great. Pick you up at seven."
Well, they might not be married. But they'll get there some day.

END.

P-R-N-D-L

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Spoilers: "Sandwich Day"
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Summary: Jack teaches Liz how to drive.

"The subway's broken," Liz told him as soon as he picked up the phone.
"Well, good morning to you too."
"Jack, I'm serious. I don't know how I'm gonna get to work."
"Problem solved. I'll take you."
"You will?"
"Under one condition."
"Oh, boy. What is it this time?"
"You come over tonight, spend the night and in the morning, I'll teach you how to drive."
Liz laughed.
"Spend the night? At your house? No way, Jack. Top Chef is on tonight and my apartment is perfectly--Oh my god! How the..? Jack, I gotta go. Call me back in five minutes. There's a fire in my apartment."
Liz hung up.
"Holy crap! How am I gonna get dressed?!" she told herself.
Liz looked frantically for something to wear, but all she found was a dress.
"Oh, you've got to be kidding me."
She desperately looked for a pair of spanx, but she couldn't find any.
"Oh, blerg!"
Her phone was ringing and someone was knocking. She was getting dressed, her apartment's about to burst into flames and all because she decided to have a pancake for breakfast?
"Lemon! You in here?" Jack called out.
"Bathroom."
"Your apartment's about to burst into flames and you're in the bathroom? Are you crazy?!"
"Just a second! I'll be right out. Give me a few more minutes."
"If we both burn in here, I'm gonna have Reagan to tell you something on your deathbed."
"Something good, I hope!"
Liz came out of the bathroom. She was wearing a black dress. It was a casual one, but it could be worn to an exquisite event.
"Well, you're ready," Jack said.
"Is it--Do I look bad?"
"No. You look almost, dare I say, attractive."
Liz blushed.
"Oh, wow. Um, thanks Jack."
"We should get of here."
"Oh, right. Duh. Apartment's burning. Wouldn't want to burn to death, huh?"
Jack nodded and led her out to his limo.
"Why'd you decide to straighten your hair today?" he asked her.
"I woke up this morning and my hair was a total mess. If it was curly, I'd look like I was in college all over again. So, I put some special shampoo on it and straightened my hair."
"And the hair color?"
"Well, I told the girl I wanted it brown, but they ran out of brown so they gave me this reddish-brownish shade. That's why there's this orange-ish shade to my hair."
"And the make-up?"
"I dunno. Just felt like it, I guess. Why do you want to know so much?"
"Just curious, that's all."
"Curiosity killed the cat, Jack," Liz told him.
"But I'm not a cat. I'm a human being. So technically, I won't be killed for being curious."
Liz laughed.
"Whatever floats your boat, Jacky."
It was silent for a while.
"Uh, we're here, Mister Donaghy," his driver said.
Liz went outside and it was snowing.
"What the hell?! Snowing? Jack, I--"
"Relax, I gotcha," Jack said, giving her his jacket.
"Wha--are you sure you won't be cold?"
Jack shook his head, and hugged Liz close to him.
"Well, somebody's ethnic today," Liz joked.
When they reached his floor, they were laughing.
"Good morning, Mister Donaghy."
"And Miss Lemon," Liz told him.
"Oh. Hello, Miss Lemon. Such a morning you chose to be with Mister Donaghy," Jonathan said giving Liz a nasty tone.
"Jonathan, can you do me a favor?" Jack asked.
Jonathan smiled.
"Yes, sir?" he said.
"Can you please be nice to Miss Lemon from now on? She's very important to this building and even more important to my life."
Oh, Jonathan knew that code. If Jack ever said that, it would mean that she's his new girlfriend. Problem is: she's not.
"Would you like some water, Miss Lemon?"
"Oh. No thanks, Jonathan. Jack has water in there."
Liz closed the door to Jack's office and Jonathan was furious.
"Miss Maroney?"
"Yes, this is she. Who's calling?"
"This is Jonathan, Mister Donaghy's assistant."
"Okay...what do you need me for?"
"You're Miss Lemon's best friend, right?"
"Yeah, of course."
"Has she told you about Mister Donaghy?"
"I dunno. I mean, she doesn't tell me a whole lot of stuff anymore. Jack's the one she tells everything to nowadays."
"Well, newsflash! They're dating."
"WHAT?!" Jenna screamed.
Jonathan hung up and smiled.
"That should ruin her," he said to himself.
Inside the office, Jack poured them a glass of wine and they clinked glasses.
"Well, Lemon. To global warming," he joked.
Liz laughed.
"Is there any chance you can turn up the heat?"
"You want to make a fire?" he suggested.
"Can we make s'mores after we build a fire?"
"Well, it is snowing."
Liz smiled.
"Thank you, Jack."
"For what?"
"Everything, really."
Jack smiled.
"No, Lemon. I should be thanking you. I wouldn't be the man I was today if it weren't for you."
"Cheers to us appearing in each others' lives!"
Liz practically stayed with Jack all day. They went to Central Park to catch the snow, they made s'mores, and they talked. It wasn't until almost five that Liz went to the writers room.
"Hey guys," Liz said.
"Well, you're late. We were actually working today, Liz," Frank said.
"Oh, shut up, Frank and get back to work."
"Where have you been anyway?"
"I was with Jack all day."
"Well, that explains the dress," Toofer said.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious! But, no. I wore a dress 'cause I felt like it."
Jack's head popped inside the writers room.
"Is Lemon here?" he asked.
Liz raised her hand.
"Right here, Jack."
"When are we gonna, uh, take off?" he asked.
"Oh, like in a few hours. I haven't done any work all day."
Jack rolled his eyes.
"Get some writer from Saturday Night Live and tell them to fill Liz's place for today. Be the guest writer."
"But, Jack. Today's Friday. Show day," Lutz said.
"So? SNL is used to doing stuff last-minute. I'm sure they can think of something."
"But Jack! They have a show tomorrow!" Sue said.
"Bup-Bup-Bup! I talked to Seth. They have no show this week. They're moving Justin Timberlake next week."
"Wait, Seth Meyers?!" Jenna asked.
Jack nodded.
"Alright! Take your girlfriend then, Jack. Keep her as long as you want!"
"No, no, no, Jenna. Liz and I aren't--"
"SETH MEYERS!" Jenna yelled.
Liz grabbed her coat and followed Jack.
"That easy, huh?"
"They're people, Lemon. They're not that hard to please."
Liz stepped inside Jack's car.
"What, no driver?"
Jack shook his head.
"Why not?" she asked him.
"I'm going to take you to a place special to me."
"Couldn't the driver--"
"No one knows about this place except me. You are going to be the first person to know about this."
"Oh, wow. I feel honored."
Jack drove for what seemed like miles and miles.
"Where are you taking me, Jack?" she asked him.
"Home," he told her.
"What do you mean, home?"
"I just drove around the city for an hour just to get to talk to you."
"Agh, you jag! We could've talked more at your apartment!"
Jack laughed.
When they reached Jack's apartment building, they stopped to look at the snow.
"Jack?"
"Yes, Lemon?"
She smiled.
"I had a really fun time today. Snow really brings out the best in you."
"Thank you, Lemon. I also had a fun time today. It was the most fun I've had in years."
"Look, a snowflake! You know what I do? I always catch them with my tongue. You should try it."
"No, Lemon. I don't think I should--"
"Come on! It's cool!"
Liz kept catching snowflake after snowflake, but she and Jack accidentally slipped and Liz fell on top of him.
They laughed and helped each other up.
"Thanks, Jack. Now, come on. Let's go upstairs. It's 4:30 in the morning, for crying out loud. Is Liddy there or is she with Colleen?"
"Good god, Lemon. I only let her stay with Colleen once and never again because I'm afraid she would kill the child."
They shared a laugh.
"Mister Donaghy?" the doorman called out.
Jack turned to look at him.
"Do I need to warn the people at your floor?"
Jack laughed.
"Eddie, Lemon isn't my, um, person tonight."
"You always say that, Donaghy! I'mma have to call Mrs. Morgan and tell her that you'll be having at it tonight. You know how difficult that is, man?"
Jack rolled his eyes and walked away.
He saw that Liz wasn't in the lobby, so he assumed that Liz was already in his apartment."
When Jack arrived at his apartment, it was the same time that Sherri was about to leave.
"She is good with babies," Sherri said before leaving.
He went in his apartment seeing Liz carrying Liddy.
"What the world needs now...is love sweet love. It's the only thing that there's just too little of," Liz sung to Liddy.
Jack smiled and went up to them.
"Does that song really work?" he asked curiously.
"I don't know. She's getting sleepy, but maybe if you sing it, she'll fall asleep," she told him.
"Oh, but I'm not a singer."
"Neither am I. But you sang AND played the piano at that party where you met C.C., so you're not getting off that easily. Plus, I like your voice. It's soothing, actually."
Jack sung the song once and Liddy did fall asleep.
Liz put the baby back in the crib and sat on the couch.
"Damn it."
Jack turned around.
"What's wrong, Lemon?"
Liz sighed.
"My apartment's gone. I don't have any clothes, I don't have any of the special shampoo that makes my hair not look like a disaster. I have nothing, Jack."
Jack sat next to her.
"It's going to be okay, Lemon. You have me, your rich friend who can buy you anything. You also have Liddy. You can practice your motherly skills on her. It's not the end of the world. You can stay here as long as you want until you find a new place."
Liz smiled.
"Really?"
Jack nodded.
"Now get some sleep. I have to teach you how to drive tomorrow," he reminded her.
"Yeah, yeah."
Liz went to the guest bedroom and realized that she had no sleeping clothes.
Before she could even reach Jack's room, he had already given her his dress shirt.
"What, no shorts?" she asked him.
"Night, Lemon."
*
Liz woke up to the sound of Jack boosting the volume of the stereo.
"WAKE UP, LEMON!" he shouted.
Liz groaned.
"Too early," she told herself.
Jack came in the room and opened the windows.
"Lemon, you gotta get up."
"No."
"Lemon, I'm serious."
"I am too. Turn Sinatra off! As much as I love that song, it's too early in the morning."
"What do you mean too early? It's eleven!"
Liz didn't move.
"Okay, you asked for it."
Jack grabbed her legs and pulled her out of the bed until she fell on the ground.
"MY BACK! Jack Donaghy, you are going to pay for this!"
Liz chased him to the kitchen.
"Okay, okay! You got me, Lemon. What are you gonna do with me?"
"Make me an omelet."
"You have issues with food, Liz Lemon."
"JUST DO IT," Liz commanded him.
"Okay, okay. I didn't realize there was a queen bee in this house."
Liz rolled her eyes and walked away.
"Yeah, keep staring at it, Jack. You're not seeing my butt dance ever again."
Someone knocked on the door.
"I'll get it!" Liz told him.
Liz accidentally tipped over the crib.
"Liddy!" she said. She carried the baby and went to the door. Her hair was a mess, she was still wearing Jack's clothes, and she was carrying his baby in her arms.
Liz almost dropped Liddy when she saw who it was at the door.
"Bianca! What are you doing here?"
Bianca's eyes widened.
"Oh, Elizabeth. I didn't think you'd be here!"
"I'm sorry. I thought you were my friend since I invited her over today."
"Um, is Johnny here?"
"Oh, um, yeah. He's in the kitchen making breakfast. I'll go get him for you. Go sit on the couch. He'll be right down."
Liz ran to the kitchen.
"Bianca's here!" she whispered.
"What?"
"Bianca! Crazy ex-wife is here!"
"Don't worry, Lemon. I have an idea. Here, put this ring on."
"What's the plan?"
"Well, you're wearing my dress shirt, you're carrying a baby, your hair is a mess, you're wearing a ring...she must've assumed that Liddy was our daughter and that we just had sex."
Liz laughed.
"I just noticed you wore socks to your sleep too."
"Well, I just noticed you're not wearing any socks," Jack said, pointing to Liz's feet.
"Oh my god! My feet!"
"Lemon. It's okay. Your feet look fine."
"Okay, now let's go get this show on the road!"
"Hang on, Lemon. Uh, Liddy might have the sudden urge to want breast milk..."
"Jack, I haven't taken the class on how to breastfeed. I don't know how."
"It's easy. Take your nipple and put it in the baby's mouth and she'll suck on it."
"But then my boobs will get sore," she complained.
"It's life. You'll get used to it."
"You'd feel the same if babies penis-fed!"
Jack was disgusted at that thought.
"Hello, Bianca."
"Johnny! Uh, how are you?"
"I'm doing great, Bianca. How about you?"
"Fantastic! So you did marry Elizabeth after all!" Bianca said, trying not to sound angry.
"Yes, and I appreciate you not to tear off her clothes this time because of two reasons. One; they're mine. And two--"
"That's his job," Liz joked.
"Is that baby yours?" Bianca asked.
Liz nodded.
"Liddy Colleen Elizabeth Donaghy," Liz told her.
"Oh, how wonderful. She's beautiful, Johnny."
Jack smiled at her.
"Would you like some breakfast?" Liz asked her.
"Oh, no thank you. I had breakfast at Arby's this morning. How long have you two been married?"
"It was six months after I told you that he proposed to me. So, about five-ish years."
Bianca's mouth formed an "oh" and she excused herself to leave.
Why was all this happening? Can't she just get learn how to drive with Jack teaching her without all this drama?

TBC...