Bimba Would Be the Right Term

Rating: PG 
Disclaimer: Not mine..
Spoilers: Suburban Girl...duh!
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Summary: Liz finds something out.

"I like this dress and I'm gonna wear it!" Liz said to Jack angrily in the limo.
Jack looked at her with his sad eyes.
"Where is Liz? I want my Liz back."
Liz turned to look at Jack, who had a meaningful look on his face. She was just about to kiss him until he gave the dress to her. 
They arrived at the party a few minutes later. Liz was sober when she got there, but a few minutes later, she was drunk. She went over to Jack and the fancy-looking people and said something she knew would make a complete fool of herself.
"Hey, did you guys know Jack Donaghy boffed my friend, Jenna Maroney?"
Everyone got quiet. Jack avoided eye contact and looked at the ground. For a minute, everything was silent. Until of course, Liz pulled Jack by the hand to talk to him.
"Why didn't you tell me you slept with Jenna?" she asked him.
"It was a long time ago, Lemon. Waaaaay before you and I met."
"Well, what about this? What if I told you I slept with the next CEO of Kabletown? What if it wasn't you? What if he was smarter than you, better than you, and has a bigger dick than you? Would you feel just a little bit threatened?"
Jack didn't answer.
Liz left to go to the restroom.
"Where's the restroom?"
The women looked at her strangely.
"No, no. Don't worry. I'm potty-trained. No, seriously. I am."
She kissed a waiter before leaving.
*
Liz woke up in a limo. Jack's limo, to be precise, since he was looking right at her.
"I feel like a bimbo," she said.
"Bimbo is masculine. Bimba would be the right term."
Liz sighed and chuckled.
"Can we talk like regular people for once?"
"How do regular people talk?"
"They say things like, 'Hey, babe. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Jenna.'"
"Okay. Hey babe. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Jenna."
Liz smiled.
"It's okay," and grabbed his tie to pull him in for a kiss.

END

99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall...

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine
Spoilers: No
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Summary: Liz sees Jack for the first time. No, Bianca does not exist in my world! 

It was a snowy Saturday. Liz Lemon, being the 25-year-old girl she is, goes to the nearest building she can find. She, of course, chooses the GE building. 
"Hi, um, do you know where I can find some good booze here?" Liz asked a page.
"Why, yes, of course. But the  executive dining room is only exclusive to executives."
"May I speak with an executive?" she asked.
"I'm sorry, miss, but no. Would you like to speak to Mr. Geiss' choice of the next executive-to-be? He's a real charmer."
"What's his name?" she asked.
"Mister Donaghy. John Donaghy, actually, but he prefers to be called Jack. Would you like me to set up a meeting for you and him tomorrow night?"
"Oh, that'd be wonderful! Then I can get booze, right?"
"Of course."
"Alright. Here's my number, my name, and my address. Please give this to Mister Donaghy, because I have important matters to discuss with him."
A few hours later after she got back to her apartment, the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Is this...Elizabeth?"
"This is she, and who may I ask is speaking?"
"Jack Donaghy."
"Oh, the next executive-to-be, right?"
Jack laughed. 
"That's me. Anyway, would to you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?"
This time, it was Liz's turn to laugh.
"Really? We haven't even met yet!"
"Well, I know your name, your number, and where you live, so that's basically all I need to know. I'm not a stalker."
"I never said you were."
"So, is that a yes?"
"Hmm......"
"Please hurry, Elizabeth. I have a meeting to get to."
"Yeah, sure. I'll go have dinner with you. And you don't have to call me Elizabeth. You can call me Liz."
"May I call you Beth?"
"No. That's--no. Liz is fine, thank you."
"As you wish."
"Would I...have to dress up?"
"If you want. We're not going to a movie or a subway restaurant."
"But those are the best ones!" Liz thought. 
There was an awkward silence for a long time.
"Well, I'll be looking forward to our date then, Liz."
"Thank you, Jack. Same here."
She hung up and imagined what he would look like. His voice was so husky, and his laugh was so warm. 
"Jenna?" 
"Yeah, what?" 
"I just got me a date!"
Jenna ran from her room and straight to Liz.
"Who? Who? Who?" she kept asking.
"His name is Jack Donaghy. And by his voice, I think he's pretty cute."
"You mean--you haven't seen him yet?"
Liz shook her head.
"We need to get your hair straightened, buy you makeup, and get you waxed."
"But, Jenna!--"
"Oh, and buy you a dress."
"But--"
"No buts! We are going! I don't care what time it is but we are going shopping."
The evening on Jack and Liz's first date was rather awkward. Liz's hair was straightened, makeup was all over her face, she was wearing this red "Oscar De La Renta" dress...as Jenna called it, and heels that were killing her. 
Then, the doorbell rang. Liz ran to her room and got Jenna to answer the door.
"Are you...Elizabeth?" Jack asked.
"Oh, no. I'm her friend, Jenna Maroney. Liz is just finishing up."
Jenna ran back to Liz's room and told her how he looked like.
Liz came out of her room and went to sit by Jack.
"Hi there," she said.
"I'm pretty sure you're Liz now, aren't you?"
"That's me."
"Well, you look stunning. Even more stunning than I thought."
"You don't look so bad yourself, Jack."
"Off to our date, then?"
Liz nodded. 
She could tell she was gonna get the booze she wanted even sooner than she thought.

END

Just Say Yes

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Spoilers: Nope.
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Summary: Just a little fluffy fic. 

It's been a year and a half. It's been too  long of a wait for him and he can't handle it anymore. He wants to propose to her. He wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He wants her to know that she's "his" till death. 
He loves her brown hair. How it's naturally curly. He loves her laugh, how it echos in the room. He loves...everything about her. Sure, people might think she's not perfect because of her stress-eating habits, but he thinks that's the best thing about her. He can actually stress-eat with someone without them being grossed out or bored. He can never get bored with her. They can talk for hours and hours and never get tired of each other. He loves how she always says "I love you," before they go to work and before she leaves his office. He can just imagine her smiling, proudly waving her engagement ring in Jenna's face. He smiled at that thought. He thought about that once they were married, she could finally adopt. It was always those thoughts that occurred whenever they were watching TV together. 
She was all snuggled up next to him and everything just seemed...right. He never had the guts to say it, though. 
One day, Jack decides to go on a vacation with her, during hiatus, of course. She got to choose where they were going and she ended up choosing Dublin.
("Yeah, I like the Irish people. ever wonder why I'm dating you?" she said.
"Because I'm everything you ever wanted and that I'm great at sex?" he replied.
"I never said that."
"You thought about saying it.")
So, there they were, walking in a garden. He could feel the small box in his pocket. 
"Hey," he started, "Sit down."
"Um, okay."
They sat down at the bench when he kissed her. She chuckled.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
"I--I don't know," she started, "you just love me so much and it's just...amazing for me to know that someone can love me that much. No one's ever been like that to me."
"Liz?"
"Hmm?"
He pulled the tiny box out of his pocket and opened it in front of her. She gasped.
"Will you marry me?"
She blushed. After a few seconds, she hugged him. 
"Yes."

END

Pregnancy Blues

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine...
Spoilers: None, but I hope there will be soon.
Pairing: Jack/Liz, Jack/Avery
Summary: "I'm sorry, I think I misunderstood."
A/N: Congrats to Tina Fey on her pregnancy! Whoo!

Liz cleared her throat.
"Um, hello?" 
She tapped on the microphone to see if it was on. It was.
"Oh, hi everyone! Anyways, as you know, I am Liz Lemon, head writer of TGS with Tracy Jordan."
Everyone clapped.
"I know it's mid-season, but I'm afraid that--writers and actors...and Jack, especially you--TGS is yet again going on a hiatus."
Everyone groaned.
"Why?" someone finally asked. She turned to see who it was, but she couldn't find the face. But she didn't have to. She knew that voice.
Liz felt her heart beating like a bomb ticking. There's no blue and red wires to make it stop. 
"W-w-w-why?"
"That was my question, Lemon. You never told me this."
Liz took a deep breath and said to her staff,
"I'm pregnant."
Everyone gasped. Even Jenna, who was drinking her wine. She spit the wine out and ran straight to Liz.
"YOU'RE WHAT?! BY WHO?! WHO KNOCKED YOU UP?!"
Jack's eyes widened. He put his hand on his chest, looking like he was about to have a heart attack. He ran back to his office.
"Jack? Jack! Where are you going?"
"Come on, Liz. You're telling me EVERYTHING," Jenna said, as she was dragging Liz to her dressing room.
*
"So, who's the father?" Jenna asked.
"Look, don't tell anyone, okay?"
"Pinky promise."
Liz was going to hold out her pinky like what five-year-olds did, but refused to do so.
She sighed, then said slowly,
"Jack Donaghy."
Jenna turned to her and patted her back.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Liz."
And at that moment, Liz began to cry.
*
"Jack?"
"Come in, Lemon."
"Look, about that night a few months ago--"
"Oh. That's why you're here."
He took a sip of his scotch and sat down in front of her.
"Yup, that's why," she replied.
"I--"
"Look, Jack. I'm sorry. I know it's been a year since our divorce, but those first few months were hard for me when we were married. And I know they were hard for you too--"
"Lemon--"
"--and I was really happy when you came to see me a few months ago in my new apartment. It was like we were still--"
"Lemon--"
"--married, so then you kissed me and I kissed you back and we had sex, and I know that was a total mistake because you have Avery and Liddy now--"
"LIZ!"
Liz stopped.
"Yeah?" she asked shakily.
"What did you eat?"
"What do you mean?"
"What. Did. You. Eat?" he asked again.
"Wha--Oh! I ate Cheesy Blasters and Sabor de Soledads for lunch."
Jack laughed.
"Liz, listen to me," Jack started,
"You were dreaming. Listen, we're still married, Liz. We have a wonderful daughter named Emily and you're five months pregnant."
"Do I have amnesia?" she asked Jack.
*
She woke up in her office.
"I have got to eat better," she said. 
She walked down the hall to Jack's office, thinking if everything was real or if it was just fantasy. 

END

Another Reenactment

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I'd love to be Tina, but I'm not. 
Spoilers: "Plan B"
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Summary: REHEARSAL!

"You bastard! I trusted you!" Liz yelled as she was entering Jack's office. She pounded her fists on his chest and he grabbed her waist to make her stop.
"Liz--Liz!" 
He pushed her to the couch forcefully. 
"Why? Why would you cheat on me...with Julia?" Liz asked, saying "Julia" with a French accent.
"She kissed me, Liz. I never wanted to do anything with her. You know you're the only woman I've ever really loved."
He leaned in to kiss her, but she ran to the door, grabbing the handle. Jack stopped her, and turned her around.
"Elizabeth, you know how much I love you. I could give you anything you want."
Liz tried to pull away from him, and managed to let go. She ran to the elevator as fast as she could, but Jack was quicker. He stopped her before she could enter the elevator. 
"But what about Natalie? What about our daughter? You'd just throw us away like a piece of trash?!"
He leaned in closer to Liz and said in his raspy voice,
"You're not a piece of trash, you're mine," and he kissed her.
"Aaaaaaaaaand, CUT!"
Liz broke the kiss and smiled.
"See, nerds? That's how Jenna and Jack are supposed to act! Right, Mister Director, sir?"
TGS had gotten a guest director for their show, since Jenna asked her to.
("We need to get the director of "SNL" here, Liz! Wouldn't it be so cool? Then, they'd turn my make-out scene hot, but funny. Who's the guy again?"
"Ugh, I don't know, Jenna."
"Gasp! Can it be Jack? Please, please, please?"
Liz immediately turned to look at Jenna, who had a hopeful look on her face.
"He's not gonna agree, but alright."
"Yay! Thanks, Liz!"
He ended up agreeing though.)
"Liz, is it?" the director asked.
Liz nodded.
"We want you to play Jenna's role instead."
"Huh? Why?"
"We think it brings more sexual tension and comedy rather than that blond friend of yours."
Liz almost gagged.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Alright, everyone! Listen up!," the director started, "Who here wants to see Jenna Maroney make out with this hotshot Jack Donaghy here?"
Jenna proudly raised her hand, but no one else did. 
"Now, who here wants to see Elizabeth Lemon and Jack Donaghy make out like there's no tomorrow?"
Everyone raised their hand, even the random homeless guy...even Jack. And suddenly, Liz found herself raising her hand too.
"Can they have sex for the sketch instead? And then, someone, Jenna, will be their kid and walk in on them." Frank asked.
"Yeah!" everyone yelled.
"Will I get paid?" Liz asked Jack.
"Would you want to?" 
"Uh, no shit, Sherlock. Ugh, that makes me sound like a hooker. Fine, you don't need to pay me. I'll do this for free. Wow, that makes me sound desperate."
"REHEARSALS!" the director yelled.
"Now, you two," the director started,"Liz, are you okay with this?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I've seen his--"
"PENIS!" Jenna yelled.
"VAGINA!" Tracy shouted back.
"I JUST HAD SEX!" Lutz yelled.
Everyone gave Lutz a disgusting look.
"What?" he said.
"No! I was going to say his acting skills, stupids!" Liz yelled.
"Like you were gonna say that," Jack whispered in her ear.
"Not now, Jack! I'm in the middle of an important deal here."
"Now you sound like me."
"Yeah, that's what happens when I sleep with you."
The room got quiet.
"Get back to work, people!" Liz shouted nervously.
"You--you're sleeping...with Jack?" Jenna asked.
"No! Well, yes. But--"
"Can we just get back to the sketch, sir?"
"PLACES!"
Liz went to her place with that dreaded look on her face. But after the rehearsal of course, she had another look on her face. And it mirrored Jack's.

END

The Crazy Lovers Are Coming! The Crazy Lovers Are Coming!

Rating: PG
Spoilers: Nothing major.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Pairing: Jack/Liz...who else?
Summary: Chasing Tracy around was not part of her schedule.

"They're rabid dogs, LL and Jackie D! They gonna be chasin' me around like a worm catches a bird, Liz Lemon! Like a worm!"
"Now, Tracy. We can sort this out. What happened?" Liz asked cautiously. She and Jack felt like parents sometimes, having to take care of Tracy and Jenna, not to mention the writers. Strangely, Tracy seemed to read her mind, because the next thing he said was, 
"Mother!"
"What?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I zoned out."
And just like that Tracy was gone.
"Oh, no. I am not letting him run away. Jack, you're coming with me."
"I have work to do, Elizabeth."
"John Francis Donaghy, let me remind you something. I am your best friend, never forget that. I am also drunk and Tracy is being such a pain in the ass."
"What is wrong with you, Lemon? Do you need a tampon or something?"
"What's that supposed to mean?!" Liz shouted. 
Jack backed away a few steps.
"Thank you. Jonathan! Cancel all Jack's appointments for today! He and I have some finishing up to do."
"Her, sir? You are in a relationship with Liz Lemon?"
Liz snorted.
"Yeah, Jonathan. Haven't you checked your YouFace lately?"
Jonathan's eyes widened.
"God, lay off on the fucking meth, Jonathan! I'm just messing with you. I could never take your precious Jack away from you."
Liz left the room shortly after that and headed for Jack's limo.
"What the hell?! Where is he?"
"I believe he thinks there are flying rabid dogs in the air."
"Yeah, there's a word for that."
Jack waited for an answer.
"Which is..?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot what I was about to say. My bad."
"Sit down, Lemon."
"Look, it's Tracy!"
Tracy ran from Jack and Liz as fast as he could.
"THE CRAZY LOVERS ARE COMING! THE CRAZY LOVERS ARE COMING!" he shouted as he was running in Times Square.
"That's it! I give up!" Liz screamed.
"Coffee?"
"Yes, thank you."
When they got to the nearest Starbucks, it was already 7 am.
"I can't deal with Tracy anymore, Jack," Liz said. She put her head on his shoulder and took a sip of her coffee.
"Hey," he started, causing Liz to look up,"the important thing is that TGS can still survive without Tracy. We can keep TGS going as a magazine."
Liz chuckled and then kissed him.
"That's exactly what I told Kenneth when Tracy was in his so-called Africa."
"LL! Jackie D! I didn't know you were together!" Tracy shouted as he went to buy some coffee.
"Tray? What--"
"Looks like TGS might not be destroyed after all."

END

Late Night Visit From the Wicked Witch of Arby's

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine...
Spoilers: None
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Summary: Someone familiar visits Jack in the middle of the night.

Bianca was in town. She wanted to have one last talk with Jack. One last one. She figured out his address by the very talkative Jenna, and knocked on his door. Well, he apparently couldn't hear her and she realized that the door wasn't locked, so she opened it.
"Johnny?" she asked.
No answer.
"Johnny?" she asked, rather loudly.
"Bianca, i-i-is that you?"
His voice sounded rather shaky and awkward. 
"Yes, Johnny. Now, are you going to be a grown man and get over here so we can have a meeting, or are you gonna stay in your room and act like a child since you're so scared?"
Jack came out of his room a few minutes later. He was wearing one of his Princeton shirts and some briefs. His hair was messed up though.
"Johnny! How are you? Having a hard time sleeping?"
"Something like that," he replied.
Bianca kept talking for what seemed like hours.
"...and Arby's is--"
Bianca was interrupted by a brunette girl wearing one of Jack's dress shirts. Her hair was a mess.
"Jack? Who's your visitor?" the girl asked.
"Oh, Elizabeth. You've met Bianca before, right?"
"Pleased to meet you again," Bianca said, as she shook Liz's hand, noticing a wedding ring on both their hands.
"I, um, should go," Bianca said.
"Oh, sure. Make your way to the door. Goodbye, Bianca."
Liz waved a light goodbye before Jack and Liz entered Jack's room again.
Bianca opened the door, and was just about to leave, but she decided to stay. She closed the door silently to see what Jack and Liz were doing this late at night. She went up to their door, which was obviously locked and put her ear to it. 
"Jack, Jack...Oh, god...Jack," was all she kept hearing. Then some really loud moans, almost screaming, and groans from Jack. Bianca's eyes popped open when she heard this. She ran to the door and left Jack's house. 
"Did we pull it off?" Liz asked.
"I think it was very believable, Lemon. Do you...do you want to sleep here?"
"Nope. I'm fine."
"You sure? I make a pretty wicked omelet in the mornings."
"Whoa, Jack Donaghy saying "pretty wicked?" Oh this is just too good to be true."
"Lemon, I could just kiss you right now."
"Go for it."
And so he did. She ended up staying.

END